"Autumn has so landed and I love it." [Mark, 17 September 05]
In lieu of Trinny and Susannah just being just a bit pants, we present the FANNY and CLITORIS Autumn season fashion guide 2005.
1. Bags and shoes: When you see them you just have to go hell for leather.
Why are so many bags and shoes the same? Why is nothing new happening in footwear and accessories?
2. Key colours this season: Black, Navy, Burgundy, Grey, A Hint Of Orange, Nutmeg, Air Freshener
3. Student: The Look is IN IN IN.
4. Beauty is timeless. Make fucking time for it.
5. Shirts under jumpers: Plain or patterned? The debate rages on.
6. Beware scarves. BEWARE. It's a fine line.
7. Long coats - only when the sun is low in the sky in January and February.
8. Think nouveau retro chic. Now just put on what you were going to anyway and instantly feel better about it.
9. Have competitions with your friends to see who can get their stuff sold out from charity shops quicker.
10. Pom-poms kids - JUST SAY NO. Unless you are a kid. Obviously. I mean how many people did you see wearing capes? Exactly.
11. There is an area to achieve between smart and smartcasual. It is to be aimed for, Lets call it semi-smasual.
12. Men should not wear tights. Ever.
We thank you.
F & C