Sunday, November 27, 2005

Freakishly childish and loving it thanks

Several thoughts have consolidated at once and made me realise that under the surface I really am still about six years old.

Namely, I can't help changing pop song lyrics in my head into school boy humour.

For example...

Kylie - In Your Eyes
is transformed in Boz-land to...

"It's in your flies,
I can tell what you're thinking,
my part is thinking it to.

Between your thighs,
I can tell where it's sticking,
Covered like it is in Pooh."

Animotion / Sugababes - Obsession
becomes the seedier...

"You are an obsession,
You are my obsession!
Who do you want me to be?
To make you pee on me?"

Mark caught me singing that one in the kitchen yesterday. Ad infinitum. There are many more. Oh god there are more. Mostly involving switching the word 'you' (which crops up a LOT in pop songs) to 'pooh'. Hmmmm.

I think party of this stems from Uni. I had some friends who stopped drinking, smoking and debaunching long enough to troop off to Christian Summer Camp every year to entertain younger kids. Inevitably this involved coming up with song and dance routines to pop music, but changing the lyrics to a Christian theme. It became a hobby.

One day, if you're lucky, I might treat you to a rousing verse of Hit Me Jesus, One More Time or Tragedy like you've never heard it before ("Died for me! Washed away my sins and saved me soul he died for me!").


Anybody got any others??

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

The JCB song

Above is a picture of sliced bread.

Since the very first occasion knife was put to bread before it hit retailers, one of the best things that has ever happened is the JCB song by Nizlopi.

And its utterly amazing video by Monkeehub

I have had a piss-poor day, and this has defintely cheered me up. It's frankly brilliant. The backstory behind it is also v touching. Big cheers to Matty for throwing this Boz's way.

Fantastic weekend of debaunchery, including a proper grown-up "dinner party" hosted by Boz for seven. With coffee at the end and everything. We didn't all just pass out. Cooked sister’s Go-Go Goulash receipe which worked a treat. Bit nervous as I hadn’t tried it before. And to be honest I was still drunk when I woke up on Sunday morning, following a very drunken evening in Clapham. Had to have a walk in the park to clear my head. Suprised to find ice on the ponds.

And my wonderful, fantastic flatmates did alllll of the washing up.

And no one mention the cucumber incident ever again…

Saturday, November 19, 2005


I just found my phone (I slept on my iPod. Whoops.) and on it this picture from last night:

Why was our hero taking pictures in toilet cubicles? Look closer at the creepy face, loves.

Boz is scared and it is Boz...

Stream of unconciousness

Oh god I was really drunk last night, and christ we were in a fookin' chain bar in Soho and it was right after work and I wa still in my work clothes but dear god alive the end of day beer felt so good and they kept bringing more and more apart from when it was Fuge's round and she had to go to the bar but she brought back chicken on sticks and chips yey and I was home by about 11.15 I think but I was (whisper it) really drunk... now go and play in your room, children, Daddy has a headache this morning....

Monday, November 14, 2005

The portents of modern times...

"If Liberty X chart above Girls Aloud we should all just pack up and go home"

Can I just say, can I? Just say?* Amazon Marketplace. X-Men 2** 2-disc 'special' edition. £3.63, including postage. Bargainous.

But this cannot be of interest to you. What happend to the bigger picture? The higher moral questions? The ethical dilemmas? The cultural debates?





Hey, look, something shiny... over there... go on now...

*It's my blog and I will if I want to.
**Yes, I cam that kind of person. And so is he. Not that he's updated that blog anymore. Harumph.

Saturday, November 12, 2005

Seasonal clichés

Here's.... Autumn! I was kicking through some leaves on the South Bank today - the smell was like being a kid again. Then I came over all touristy with my camera phone:

Boz did a quasi-brave thing today: he asked someone out. Ooooooo. Have no idea if it'll come to anything, but nothing ventured nothing gained. Carpe diem etc. etc. etc. blah blah blah. Either way, I felt mighty good after the event and strutted through central London with my iPod on shuffle kicking up some random stunners, including Bobby Hutton - Lend A Hand, which fitted the mood as I tripped through St James' Park in the waning sunshine perfectly. Was almost deliriously happy by the time I reached Madge's gaff (not that Madge. The other Madge.), to witness this slice of pomposity:

Guess they're getting ready for remembereance sunday tomorrow. First one for me without my paternal Grandad alive, which is going to be a bit odd.

Remember Remember.

Friday, November 11, 2005

Yes, it's wrong to mock the past, but it's also fun

I have Mark to thank for these choice classic album covers.

Trends and fashion change, we know this, but somethimes things just get way out of hand. I'm glad the group above are not my famnily (that I'm aware of...).

Though this guy sounds fun:

This guy should seriously be asking WHY. And would they feel about me crapping on their grave?

This is just WRONG, WRONG, WRONG:

Five hours to the weekend and counting.

Monday, November 07, 2005

Infant genius

"I require a window seat and an inflight Happy Meal, and no pickles! God help you if I find pickles!"

More Stewie and other inspired Family Guy quotes here.

Okay so Boz drank a lot at the weekend, but still managed to participate enough in Sunday's pub quiz to help us stride quite comfortably to fourth place (pride. fall. before. comes. Arrange as you please).

Parental dog threw biggest canine hissy fit with fireworks going off everywhere. Luckily mum and dad are getting rid of that door anyway. And that skirting board. Hey ho. Other than this rural Wiltshire continues fun and full of lesbians. What is about the further West you head?! Hahahaha!

Pontification ahoy.

Work is going to be a mare this week (I moan too much, I know) and I'm just too tired to type anymore today.


Sunday, November 06, 2005


...ow, my liver...

Friday, November 04, 2005

Oooooh that itches

I have just noticed that Internet Explorer uses the American spelling for the 'Favorites' menu heading.

Obviously this isn't wrong per se; it's created in a different country. But now it's irking me. How sad am I? Really I should lose some of this Supposed British uptightness.

Thankfully it's just my work PC.

Curse you, Gates!

* * *

About to hurtle myself west, into rural England for the weekend. Pray for my soul.

No, scrub that, pray for my liver. Sacrifice a turnip or something. Come on people. Work with me here.

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Watch me bitch (note the lack of comma between 'me' and 'bitch')

A double hit of hilarifyingness today from Mark:


and (particularly apt)

Watch Me Change.


Orange have created one of the best telly ads of the year. It's so peaceful and understated (insert other marketing wank here). To view it go here and click on the 'view the TV advert' link at the bottom.

This link probably won't be around forever.


Comes as a bit of a relief after the mad-as-a-fish replacement teacher we had in our evening class last night:

Six parts the American wife of Edina's ex-husband in AbFab, three parts "there are times when I doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion" woman in Donnie Darko, and one large part of the 1960s.

Rock on lady.

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Oh really?

"David Blunkett chose to resign because he had reached the conclusion that the position was untenable and that he would be unable to continue in his position."

Prime Minister's official spokesman

Really? And I'm Fanny Craddock.

See me cook.

Okay I don't know what I'm wittering about anymore...

Forever More

"And if I drown in this sea of devotion
Just a stone left unturned
My need is deep
Wide endless oceans
Feel it furious
The fire burns on"

Brydon/Murphy 2005

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Dead again

Just caught the last Six Feet Under on E4. I'm such a geek I'm listening to the track Claire drives to New York to.

I'm going miss the Fishers - but I'm glad it ended the way it did. So much of the last episode could have been really cheesy, but it was v cool.