Wednesday, August 31, 2005

An excited service annoucement

THIS is the first ever post from my new laptop. And holy-crikey do I love it.

Praise be to Apple.

Tuesday, August 30, 2005



Monday, August 29, 2005

Chelsea ruins

Okay, I'll do a fuller report on the weekend later, but as I was strolling down King's Road yesterday (I'm nostalgic for Chelsea, nostalgic for Sloane and the King's Road flat that I called my own - thank you Readers Wives) I saw this fantastic old geezer chatting to a girl with a camera, while he was apparently begging on the street. He was dressed to the hilt and had a sign that included the following printed line:

"Can you spare 50p towards the cost of a cup of tea and Viagra?"

Sir, I salute you!

Chuckled to myself as I tripped down the road for a while after that one. Chelsea really is full of mad and insane people. I think inside me there is a little bit of a Sloane-Ranger, and wandering around there is as close am I'm going to get to letting it out. Forget the pretty young dullards with too much cash floating around saying "yuh, yuh, absolutely" into their mobile phones. It's the crazy old folks that I love. The 60's hangovers that drift around, pretty much owning the place.

I was in The Chelsea Kitchen a while back - one of my favourite places on earth ever since I was a kid (and that has nothing to do with my inner-Sloane. The place is an institution and rightly so.) - with Damascus. We were sat behind this riotous couple. He had thin hair dyed an intense black, cravat, huge 70's specs and skin the colour of walnuts. And he didn't speak. She had back-combed hair, a black polo-neck and heavy makeup apparently applied with a shotgun.

In short, they were fabulous. And her voice. She would make the Royal family look common. It was chic gone to total ratchet and, dammit, nothing was going to make them change. It was only about noon but I'm sure she was half a bottle of cooking sherry down.

Turns out the woman sitting at the table next to them had known them vaguely in their former glory (from Charles Street hotel in Mayfair. I mean, please, stop it.) They obviously had no clue who this woman was, but she was not letting them go. It was brutal, hilarious and full of pathos. And bathos too, I suppose. What I wouldn't give to know what their backstories were...

It's a strange part of town. posh, but with bits of shabbyness that make it interesting. I always think I should be in a Beatles film or The Avengers (God Bless Brian Clemens) when I'm there.

Anyway. Enough. This is beginning to sound sychophantic. Posh and bonkers is what it boils down to.

Gotta run now. Meeting a friend in Soho for cocktails.

(Yes, yes, I know. Forgive me, but it's just such a great thing to type... chin-chin!)

Friday, August 26, 2005

Shaking fist at sky

Look! See? It is actually about to rain on my parade.

The weather has been beautiful all day. Now it's 4.30pm, London is about to knock off for three days away from the office and it has clouded over and looks like it is about to rain.


What do you meeean I have nothing of consequence to say?!

It's Friday. And it's really sunny. And it's a bank holiday weekend. And for some reason I'm just insanely and inanely happy this morning!!



This is bound to mean the world is about to crap all over my face.
Gah - pessimism in the face of perversity.

I have a habit of getting carried away with exclamation marks. Is there self-help group out there somewhere, do you think?

But I am feeling really chipper today. Maybe it's because I slept really well last night. Had some very odd dreams though. Don't worry. I'm not going to bore everyone to tears with long, detailed descriptions of things that wouldn't make any sense anyway. But in short, Lana? Please don't ever try and get jiggy in my grannies bedroom, okay?

Bring on the weekend! Bring on the merrymaking! Bring on the dancing guinea pigs!

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Out there... somewhere

Sorry - not many posts this week. Not a lot going on. Busy times at work, but I'm trying just to think about the Bank Holiday weekend without making too many fixed plans. Maybe I'll head to the cinema, as there seem to be some interesting stuff around at the moment. S'quite nice not having masses planned. Or maybe I'm just getting old and boring...


Killing some time playing around in the fancy-schmancy semi-psychedelic flash thing from the Lost series, Lost Untold .

It's a bit fun. And shiny.

The laptop has been shipped!! Whoo-hoo! It's out there... somewhere... But I'm not holding out much hope it'll reach me tomorrow, before the weekend.

AVOCADO WATCH: We now have a root of nearly 2cms. I'm so proud.

Monday, August 22, 2005


Monday. Rain. Bah.

So in a shameless piece of mood-related consumerism I am going to cheer myself up by ordering a new laptop after work today - yippeee!

Fingers crossed for it arriving in time for the bank holiday.

Saturday, August 20, 2005

My baby!

Sitting in her parents garden with my soon Peruvian-bound friend, following a night of drinking our bodyweight in red wine - so much for keeping off booze for a bit - putting the world to rights. We have decided that as no one sends telegrams anymore, that from now on all text messages have to be in form of Haiku's:

Soz am running late
due to crappy South West Trains
I will c u soon

Hmmm. This could catch on. More contributions please.

She has also started compiling a list of central London locations for work lunches where, and this is the important bit, there is no mobile phone reception. No one from the office can reach you. Or they will assume you're on the tube (curse their plans to introduce mobile reception down there! Nooooo!). This is genius. Apparentely there's no reception at the top of the Gherkin. Factoid!

In other news, I am very excited. I have offspring. I have finally managed to get an avacado stone to sprout - look! Look! I know it's daft but I'm really excited. I tried with another and it just sat on top of the jar doing nothing for four months. I read somewhere supermarket avacados are irrradiated or something, but that could be hearsay. I grew peppers last year. Simple things please me.

Yes, that is a shot glass it's on. And what of it?

Thursday, August 18, 2005

Somebody help me drift?

"Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months." - Oscar Wilde

Many thanks to the Random Oscar Wilde Quaotes Page for the above. Sometimes if I'm feeling abit stuck or confused I visit this site and generate a random one for guidance. You'd be suprised how effective this can be. Makes Oscar a 20th century guru, I suppose. Can't see him on a mountainside though. Although possible between two small hills.

Just don't do the Mae West one unless you're feeling a bit frisky. Which I am as it happens. "Oh-wahh!"

Lady D and I went to see the fantastically funny play Dirty Blonde last year - sort of half Mae West biography and half love story between two Mae West fans. Really sweet and superbly camp, with bits of inspired hilarity. Especially watching the modern day Mae West fan, dressed as her idol, strutting her feather boa in a dance nightclub. I'd never seen a Mae West film at the time and still haven't! I think it's a treat I'm saving for later.

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Warm up

In some moment of madness I have signed myself up to participate in the Nike 10K Run London thing on October 16th.

I must be insane.

I'm not very exercise-y. I eat okay, bar the odd take away (eek). I don't smoke. But I don't really do any exercise either. I get bored at the gym. I'm not a 'team sports' person. I sometimes drink like fish.

But I have been thinking to myself that I need to kick-start some healthy living so perhaps this is a good opportunity. I may die in the attempt though.

I'm blaming my flatmates, as they both successfully did it last year. One of them has run a marathon. I have warned them I am going to be relentlessly melodramatic about it for the next two months.

I did go for a 20 minute run on Monday though. Okay I walked some of it. And I ache a bit today. That's good though, isn't it...?

I also bought a new pair of trainers yesterday (shiny!). But it was only on my lunch break today that I sat down and actually worked out that the distance between Clapham North and St. Ockwell tube stations is as near as dammit a kilometer. Ergo, doing 10k will be like running that distance ten times...


Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Lunch musing

It is a beautiful day outside.

I am here behind a desk. On my own. In the office.


Still I have piles of exciting work to keep me occupied this afternoon. Thrilling phone calls to make and exciting documents to read. Or something.

But do you know what, I actually should not complain. I've just had a reeeeally nice email from a friend down in Sussex who is about to move with her boyfriend to Tunbridge Wells ("I know... T.Wells... Twinned with StuckUpBaden - No Gays, No Tramps, No Public Expression of Fun...") to live with his dad. Her youngest baby is running through a series of stressful, disjointed and above all long NHS tests to discover the cause of what appears to be a sight problem. She hasn't had a night out with her man in two years... who am I to moan??

AND she still managed to send me a really nice birthday card. I'm barely that organised with my family.

Think happy thoughts.

Final series of Six Feet Under starts on E4 tonight. I have been an addict since it started but have a feeling I will only catch this final series intermittently. A shame as I still love it.

Monday, August 15, 2005

Back to "reality"

Cor blimey. What a weekend.

Party turned out very well despite the best attempts of the British weather to put a dampener on things. After the third Manhattan I ceased to care.

Really good mix of people - friends old and new. Inevitably with summer birthdays some people are always on holiday, but I had a grrrrreat time, and feel very lucky to have received some amazing presents, from people kind enough to make sure I got home safely.

Amazingly, woke up with only a minor hangover, and the perfect opportunity to ease it off listening to music in Marble Hill Park, for the 'goodbye' celebration of bezzie mate Lady D, before she heads off to Peru later this week.

I am going to miss her. A lot.

I wish I could say more. But it's my first day back in the office after my week off and my head is just not quite with it yet.

Sunday, August 14, 2005

Saturday, August 13, 2005

Party. Panic.


I should vaguely be getting ready for this evening. It's the birthday party for Lady L and myself. I have more or less nailed what to wear, checked that the clothes are actually clean, I have a present and card for Lady L, I have decided I will shave off the beardyness I have developed during my week off and have more or less dealt with the hair crisis, as it was in a desperate inbetween washings stage.

Now I just have to suss out who is coming over for dinner beforehand, what to cook them and who is meeting us at the bar and at what time, what the best way for us to all get there is and oh look there's blood dripping out of my ears...

I'm not good with organisation and things. In my panic this morning I washed the bathroom and kitchen floors. But it'll be great later when we're all there and have had a few drinks. I'm listening to a bit of Rufus Wainwright to calm me down.

Had a really nice birthday though. Spent the day looking after, well, no, that's not fair, just with one of my nephews. Then joined my sister and other nephew for diner at Wagamamas. Mmmmmmtastygoodtreat.

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Terminator 4: Rise of the Telebugs

So Family Affairs is biting the dust? Let the juggernaut of better telly roll on towards Hollyoaks!

Though to be fair I have a bit of a soft spot for Family Affairs - a TV soap/ongoing-drama (WHATEVAH) that has killed off almost the entire cast once before. It takes some guts to so blatantly admit it's all going a bit Pete Tong.

Dodgy gascooker at a family wedding, in case you're interested. It's all just too (original) Crossroads.

Excuse me, there's a voice inside telling me to get out and mix with some real people.

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Eric the Banana Cake

I have just realised this blog is getting farrrr to 'I did this, then I did this'. Not how I planned at all.

But anyway. Look! The Banana cake I did bake.

The damn thing hasn't cooled yet so I don't know how good it may or may not taste. The smell is fantastic though.

Cream teas at dawn

Morning world!

Just spent the morning doing a mah-hu-sive pile of washing up and hoovering so feeling justalittlefruity and abitholy now. No work for meee this week - yippeeee!

So now sitting on flatmate's laptop (not literally, obviously) and listening to the new Goldfrapp single. Oh La La indeed.

Had a brilliant weekend. Last thing on Friday at work we cracked open a few bottles of wine, to celebrate my birthday this week, and they presented me with membership to the Tate galleries. I'm so chuffed! They are some of my favourite places in London. Hopefully this week I'll have time to mooch around them a bit more. PLUS I get to swan into the membership rooms now. Tee hee hee! I'm aiming to check out the one in St Ives this year now as well. It's such a fantastic present!

Then on Friday evening my flatmate invited some people over for dinner and to help us knock back some of the cheap booze. All got very silly and we ended up doing kareoke on the playstation. Oh dear. Mind you, I'm sorry but I kick arse at Deee-Lite's 'Groove is in the Heart'. I'm sure I should put that on my CV.

Stupidly, stupidly booked myself onto a 9am train to get back to my parentals the following morning. But I did manage to crawl myself out of bed and grab enough stuff for a couple of nights in deepest, darkest Wiltshire.

But by the time I got to Paddington I was badly in need of some caffeine. Saw this sign in Starbucks which made me laugh. I'm sure it's not supposed to sound like such a command. Maybe I'm old fashhioned or boring, but I think milk and sugar is customisation enough, really.

Anyway, had a wonderful few days seeing mum and dad. And drank a LOT of alcohol. Coupled with getting up early to walk the dog, I think I'm missing about five or six hours of really solid, decent sleep.

Also, it was the village fete for my parents villagge.

They. Are. All. Mad. And not a little arts and craftsy around the waist and ankles.

Now I promise I'm not being cool, or snotty, or 'aren't the country yokels quaint' here. The village fete is a stunning event. The cream teas are legendary, it's huge fun for kids, they had a great live jazz band this year and the bookstall is superb. I got a beautiful old book of quotations for 20p. I mean, 20p. But half of the fun is everyone swapping around the same old village junk that has been cluttering up their houses for years. Decades. And don't get in the way of any old dears making a bee-line for the plant stall. They will take you out at the knees. Much has been written in this world about the cunning, deviousness and generally vicious outlook of 'little old ladies'. It's all true.

To cap it off, I found out this weekend that the local vicar is called Roger. Roger the Vicar. I mean, you couldn't make this stuff up...

I'm sure they'll be more anecdotes from The Village. It keeps us amused.

I think I'm going to carry on my domestic god theme for the day. I might bake a cake. But I'll leave you with another picture from the countryside, which it was very nice to be back in for a few days. Apologies for being weeny - it's only from my camera phone. Though looking at it again, it is a bit Blair Witchy....

Friday, August 05, 2005

Anticipation. And fish curry.

Three hours until I have a week off. A WEEK OFF. First annual leave since January. I could almost weep with happiness.

The best bit is I have nothing planned for most of the week. It'll fly by but a delicious, whole week of mooching around doing my own thing. Mmmmmmmmbrilliant.

Hopefully I'll get around to some cultural stuff too, so you nevever know, you might find something of interest up here.

Of course I have huge stack of work to do before I can escape...

Made a fish curry last night for Lady D and the flatmates. Was pretty chuffed, as I'm not much of an adventurous cook, I tend to stick to what I know. I shamelessly stole it from a TV programme we had watched the night before and the recipe can be found at the Full On Food site here.

Then we watched the Royal Tennenbaums, which is definitely one of my favourite films. I wish someone would just come in and colour-scheme my life like that for me, then shoot it with stunning photography and play it to superb music. My mum does look a bit like Angelica Houston I suppose.

Makes me nostalgic for New York and I haven't even BEEN to New York.

Thursday, August 04, 2005

Links. v good.

Well. I was going to post today about some pretty incisive rules for blogging flatmate N came up with more or less off-the-cuff, but that upstart Damascus has beaten me to it. Curses!

But they are three really good points. Namely, to keep your blog interesting:
1. frequently link to other blogs, sites and webpages
2. talk about what you have linked to
3. occasionally be serious about stuff, and offer a more serious comment every now and again.

I realise I probably have been a bit, well, I suppose sort of 'glancing' in my approach to blogging so far. (There is a better word for what I mean, but I can't think of it. Slapdash? Sorry. It's only 11am and I haven't had any caffeine yet today. Crashing on...) Rest assured at some point we will scratch the surface of Boz and get down to some nitty-gritty. In the meantime, I'm trying to resist reading the new Bridget Jones column starting today's Independent. Please don't get me wrong. I love Harry Potter, His Dark Materials and any other trashy or not-really-strictly-for-adults literature you can throw at me. It's just that if I start, I know I'll get hooked in and I'll gorge myself and then feel slightly... despoiled afterwards. On the other hand, the Martin Lukes column in the FT is heee-larious. Maybe they could cross over.

Don't be misled. I have to read the FT for work.

I think the Big Brother house may be about to implode. Tea, anyone?

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Geek? C'est chic pour le seigneur du temps.

And the clock timing how long it takes Hennes to knock-out a variation on the new Dr Who costume starts.... NOW!

Please 'scuse the cobbled-together french.

Dusk, anyone? High in fat, low in fat? Dusk? Anyone?

Am mare-ing a bit over arrangements for birthday party with Lady L. Neither of us massively want to celebrate in a big way. Everyone seems to be giving birthdays a miss this year, as most of our mates hover in the nondescript zone that is the mid-to-late-twenties.

We'll be happy with just a corner of bar somewhere. I'm sure we'll end up like last year though, with at least one of us vomiting down the side of a building from a window two floors up. There are some worrying blank patches from the Boom Bar, St John's Hill, August 2004...

So far we have checked out The Key and Dusk bar, both in the Clapham/Battersea region. The Key was nice, but a bit wee. Dusk bar was lovely, but pricey (our friends are cheap and we love them) and miles away from anyway. Ho hum. Any suggestions gratefully received.

Also we're both used to summer birthdays when everyone is away on holiday. Still, it makes for an ecletic mix of people.

It'll all be good. I have next week off work so if we have Broadband back in the flat I can keep you updated with all the enthralling details. I promise this blog will eventually live up to its 'adventures' title.

Flatmate the C came back from France last night with the most amazing amount of alcohol. As flatmate N pointed out - if there is a fire in our flat in the next few weeks we might take out most of the road.

Er. Sorry about the post title. Couldn't resist.

I realise I haven't updated you on my brilliant w/e. After checking out venues with Lady L on Friday evening, spent saturday practicing my impression of a domestic god (okay, I repotted some plants. I was bored, my flatmates were both away). Then went out to celebrate the last shift of Damascus working in a certain well-known Clapham drinking establishment. Haven't laughed so much in ages.

Then spent Sunday morning with my head down a toilet. Hey-ho. And I thought sticking to vodka all night would help.

Recovered in time to visit my sister and nephews before they go on holiday for a week. I was the youngest in my family for ages, so it's a bit scary watching kids (sorry, "young people") grow up. I keep thinking, oh yeah, I remember that bit. Really lovely to see them all though. Then a chilled out Sunday evening with flatmate N. Ace!

Monday, August 01, 2005

The Third High Overlord of Paperclips

Ooooooo stationery order! Excitement abound!

Come on people. I know I'm not alone on this...