Some of you may wonder why hence the brouhaha and obsession with the lady on the left here.
Quite simply, Nancy Banks-Smith is berrr-rilliant.
For the remaining unconvinced (fools), here are a selection of quotes that myself and The Good Mark have culled from her work.
Long live the TV Lady Guru.
“Midsomer Murders (ITV1) is an everyday story of country folk killing each other.”
Monday 4 September 2006
“There are few treats to equal the sight of Brian Sewell in a Rolls being superior about the difficult art of double declutching while kangarooing away with a crash of gears.”
Friday 3 December 2004
“William Shatner, you suspect, has always seen himself as a cheeky chappie, which is why he melded so well with Leonard Nimoy, who could go on as Eeyore without rehearsal.”
Thursday 25 May 2006
“Some say EastEnders has no sense of humour. Yes and no. Mainly no, of course.”
Saturday 1 April 2006
“The staggering thing about last night's Coronation Street (ITV1) was that absinthe was served at Shelley's hen party in the Rovers. This foray into sophistication stunned me.”
Tuesday 20 September 2005
“In Emmerdale (ITV1), Scott is spending the summer in a coma. Which is a bit of a blow to the lad, as he was expecting to spend it in California.”
Saturday 25 June 2005
“The best thing about The Apprentice (BBC2) is, of course, Donald Trump's hair. Does he have the lowest forehead outside the forest primeval where the orang-utan roam? Or does he just comb what is left forward? The one thing a rich man can't buy is a decent head of hair. It's God's little joke.
The next best thing is Trump's penthouse in Trump Tower. "I show this apartment to very few people. Presidents. Kings. They really can't believe what they're seeing." Now, that I can believe. Nero would have winced.”
Tuesday 5 October 2004
The woman is a legend. Check into The Guardian's website to keep up to speed with her pearls of wisdom, say I.
Coming soon: The best bits of Charlie Brooker and Jim Shelley... oo-er....