Thursday, January 26, 2006

Boz a bit cheesed off...*

Today, I am feeling a bit like this:



Interesting, as I am a) male, b) European and c) only a little bit ginger.

But the Desperate Housewives website says I'm a Bree, so it must be true.

But the universe is being crap today.

*Can you see what I did there? Can you? Cheese? Brie? Bree!? AHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Pop. Link. Bang. Whizz.

The amazing Popjustice has finally revamped its website. Its one of the few I check into on an almost daily basis. The new look is stonking. Sirs - we salute you!

Hang on. My grammar abandoned me there. Should that be Popjustice the website as an organisation, person or persons? (Correct grammatical terms on a postcard to...)

To hell with it. I'm normally right. Took me until post-Uni to get the hang of apostrophes though. That's a bit shocking, really, isn't it?

Did I mention I work in the broad spectrum of communications? AHAHHAAHAHA.

In almost related news - BlogRolls.

Nay, dear readers, not the handy toilet-side scraps for cleaning, wiping of privates and such*, but the merry links to other blogs around the blogosphere.

I realise that for casual browsers (all three of you), the road to other blogs ends pretty much here. That defeats the point of the internet a bit, and I need your advice on ettiquette. Is it the done thing to simply shove up a link to a blog I, as your host (with the toast), read often? Like? Trust? Consult? Does one consult the other blogger first? They may not wish to be associated with the Futher Adventure of Boz (and indeed, who could blame them).

Having had a really lovely comment from Steve, I feel quite justified in adding him. This I shall do. At some point.

Bloody cold today, hey?

(* Boz reccomends Sainsbury's Aloe Vera special stuff. Mmmmm pleasing. Though I have not checked how environmentally friendly it is.)

Friday, January 20, 2006

They're heeeerreeeeee!

Finally got the first roll of Lomo pictures developed, and Matty kindly scanned them in (himself).

Aside from the two of the guy who owned the camera before - they have come out really, really well. I'm pretty suprised at the quality - the light was poor, even with the 400 ASA film.

Check out a few below. Aside from the scanning, I've not fiddled with them in Photoshop yet (largely because I am almost a total Photoshop novice...), so they could be brushed up with a bit of light, shadow and balance adjustment.

"Flockiiiiing, to the sea..."


Something very Amelie-esque about this one.





Ahhhhh - kyoooot.


This camera loves warm colours. Ironic as the house was FUCKING COLD.


I don't think they are half bad. I'm no expert photographer, though have always loved the SLR my mum and dad got me for my eighteenth birthday. But even the ones that haven;t come out properly look good.

Thanks again Mark!!

Today's productive meeting

A cup of coffee. It's not a complicated thing, is it?

Not even proper filter coffee. Not half-caff, de-caff, no-caff, extra-caff.

Just a cup of coffee. It's not a difficult thing, no?

We were having a meeting at work today, and my boss got distracted. She was mouthing off about her bloke or something. In the midst of mouthing off, the urge for a coffee hits her.

"Does anybody want a hot drink?"

Co-workers and I mutter polite refusals and shake our heads.

Boss picks up coffee cup.

Boss goes to kettle at kitchen area.

Boss fills cup with freeze-dried coffee substance.

Boss brings cup back to table.

Boss goes back to kitchen to turn on kettle.

Boss comes back to table.

Conversation ensues. Not much work gets done.

Click!

Kettle has boiled. Employees twitch.

Boss gets up and goes to kettle.

Boss brings kettle back to table.

Boss fills mug with hot water. Employees stare at floral print on it, willing miracles to happen.

Boss gesticulates with kettle to illustrate diatribe.

Employees wipe scalding hot water off client presentations, files, extremities etc.

Boss takes kettle back to kitchen.

Boss comes back to table - still ranting. Employees notice fundamental flaw in coffee scenario of boss.

Boss takes cup of coffee to kitchen. Employees grip table in manner of comedy disbelief.

Boss gets out milk and pours into mug. Blows on mug. Small pause in rant.

Boss comes back to table. Employees break eye contact with mug of coffee.

Interruption and general fracas as bloke of boss pops head round door.

Bloke leaves.

Boss mouths off and blows on coffee.

Boss gets up and goes to kitchen.

Boss returns with table spoon.

Boss tries to make spoon fit in mug. Unintentional comedy ensues.

Boss uses end of spoon to stir coffee. Still talking.

Boss sits table spoon on edge of table.

Spoon falls off table. Boss retrieves and throw, executing rare amateur gymnastics manouvre of half-turn-pitch-and-throw-with-triple-mouth-loop, finished with a perfect land.

Employees mentally award her full marks, apart from Accountant, who holds office sport grudge against boss since The Incident With The Cupboard Door That We Do Not Talk Of.

Rest of employees all look at Accountant remember The Incident With The Cupboard Door We Do Often Talk About Out Of Earshot Of Boss And Accountant.

Boss narrowly misses out on mental office imaginary Olympic Gold.

Employees try and remember what meeting was about before Boss started ranting.

Boss about to finally drink coffee. Business about to resume. Mug gets within inches of lips, when...

"Ooo I must go to the loo, it's all this coffee".

Boss departs. Employees collapse onto floor unable to breath. Accountant cracks first smile since Spring 2004.

Boss returns to find employees weeping and rocking back and forth silently.

Monday, January 16, 2006

Doom and excitement all in one go

Why is it just as one big mountain of work disappears beneath the horizon, another one hoves into view, spewing molten lava in about-to-go-supernova style?

We have two weeks to organise our office move. Argh. On top of everything else that's happening. Argh.

Still - I made a start today. I threw out several Yellow Pages and Thompson Directories. From 2001.

Oh good grief.

But at the moment we're still in state of blind calm about it all. It's two weeks. It's fine. We can do that. It'll happen. It's fine. Talk to me in a week when we're crapping kittens. Actual kittens.

Ahhh, it'll be okay.

Got some Lomo pictures developed - they came out really well. I'm super-chuffed. Matty is getting them scanned at his work (coz it would take years at my office - and he might get a minion to do it. I want minions. Mmmmm, minions.) so I will put some up as soon as it happens. Watch this virtual space.

But I haven't shared with you my big news. I may jinx it yet, but rumour has it that BOZ IS HITTING THE ROAD! Or, more specifically, the jetstreams. In a matter of six weeks or so - I'M FLYING TO SOUTH AMERICA. For two weeks. Limited run. Evening shows and matinees. Limited tickets available. Book now to avoid disappointment... Boz and Lady D back together and on tour. Stand back blogosphere!

Sorry... but it's a whole new continent for me. I'm a bit excited. You can tell by the capitals an exclamation marks.

Can I get a whoop-whoop?

Saturday, January 14, 2006

Friday, January 13, 2006

Annoy Bill



Ahahahahaha. Found from Limpfish.

Sound advice

I was emailed some top advice at work today:

"Never play cards for dares or oral sex. "

Yes. That's right. Unless their stacked in your favour. Hahahha.

But as marvellous distraction, just found out from this blog Grapefrutopia that the original Samorost game has spawned a sequel.

Brilliant! Weird'n'wonderful webgame fun. Happy clicking, and I'll post a longer... post... soon.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.



MAKE THEM STOP.
PLEASE SOMEONE MAKE THEM STOP.
THEY RUIN ANY HINT OF TENSION, DRAMA OR MOOD IN ALMOST ANY CHANNEL 4 PROGRAMME IN TWO SECONDS FLAT. STOP THEM. STOP THEM NOW.

I'm not going to give the buggers further publicity by naming the pillocks.




(Who says 'pillocks' anymore?!)

Sunday, January 08, 2006

Does anybody want some toast...?

My mother is on a mission. That mission is to service her nearest and dearest with enough jam to feed the world:



This is the top shelf of our fridge. It contains mostly JAM. In a variety of forms. Almost all home made.

Now, I hope I am not about to sound ungrateful. They are all stupidly delicious. But there are three of us in this flat and we just don't get through them quick enough. I realised this today when I was having a rummage through them. I managed to palm off a raspberry jam to my sister, and I (the guilt part I) threw out a 2004 gooseberry (I recycled the jar! I recycled the jar!). There are still two other gooseberry's, plus several mint/apple variations on the theme of jelly.

Also still left to consume are a plum, strawberry, chillie (chillie jam!??), an elderflower something and a jar lemon curd.

I came back from France (guilt trip part II) with a jar of Nutella.

It's a second currency where my parents live though. A well-donated jar of jam can buy several days of pet-sitting, the odd pint, or may well be repayed weeks later with fresh stock from someone's allotment. It's like a code, or a very sophiosticated form of social bartering. What goes around comes around. And taste bloody good.

We all love the stuff. But I've just got too much! They shouldn't even be in the fridge. They're preserves, dammit. But we don't have much room anywhere.

Luckily Damascus is on hand to provide some utterly absurd links about toast, here and here.

Now. Who's buttering and who's spreading? And I don't want any marge / butter debates. Alright?

South Park Boz



It's me as a South Park resident. Although it's distrurbingly not that far from reality. Go here to make your own. It's fun!

Excuse the minor changings and movements around here. I'm trying to add a few bells and whistles without getting too out of my limited depth, and without cluttering this up with junk. I'm a bit bored of this standard Blogger template and at some point will try and get round to sprucing it up a bit.

Saturday, January 07, 2006

Jonathan, Geoffrey & Venus



Look at Geoffrey C! My. Hasn't he grown.

I was fretting for a bit because he was chronicallly dropping leaves everywhere, but the muv (queen of the jungle garden) pointed out that Geoffrey is a tree, not a plant or bush and therefore this was entirely normal. Oh yeah. You'd think I'd realise that, wouldnt you? Ah no.

That's his friend Venus he's next to, so-nicknamed because she seems to attract an abundance of small flies. Nice.

I really need to get out more.

Bit sad at the moment as have heard this week that the wonderful trinity of our flat is going to be broken; one of my flat mates is moving in with his lovely lady friend. This is totally brilliant for them, but will bring to an end the last two-and-a-half year era - which has been brilliant. It's very sad, but in a happy way. !?? Not happening for a few months, which is cool, but that was what I meant when I said 2006 was going to be about change.

Change is good! Alas I am not always good with change.

But had this from Mark, t'other flatmate, which made me larf no end:



Ooooo-hoooo! Hooo! Stop it! It's killing me!

Also perfect for mood-lifting is the rockin' first podcast by ChadFox. Check out Stop Touching My Radio Food. Blinding for room-dancing-type shenanigans. Excellent cure for January Mean Reds.

Also, thanks to the blog-lazy Damascus, I've just heard about this cool website, Pandora. I'm essentially a bit lazy and am always stealing the uber-cool music my flatmates bring round, and now the internet can do it for you! Not that spending hours browsing through record-shops should be missed out on, nor hearing what your mates are tuning into (chooning into?) but it's a bit spesh. Slightly U.S. slant to the music I think (what? no Girls Aloud?), but is interesting none the less.

Friday, January 06, 2006

Only the flakiest...

There are a whole generation of people whose definition of a fantastic bathroom has been defined by that Flake advert.

FACT.


(and, also, how much is the music like the theme from the Lord of the Rings film trology? Spoiled it a bit for me.)

All change!

I say gentleman, this 2006 is turning out to be a rum cove and no mistake.

I am in Victorian gentlemen mood tonight.

No plans for the evening. Maybe I'll roughly take one of the servants on the parque.

More news from the daily penny gazette as it reaches the street urchins...

Thomas Hardy live on the Wessex Tonight sofa.


Tenny. Silly hat wearer of the year. The big jessie.


R L Stevenson. Pissed again and can't find his flat key.


William Gladstone. I used to be Prime Minister, you know.


Disreali. Owner of the world's most unsuitable telephone. Bit shifty.


Darwin. Deconstructed the bible and basis of entire Western theological philosophy so he could get a shag. Not sure it worked.

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

More pix in 06?

I’m a bad blogger. Not a single post over the holiday period.

But in my defence I have spent barely 24 hours over the last ten days in my actually place of residence.

I have, though, spent an inordinate amount of time in sleeping bags. So getting home last night and stretching out into a full double bed, with no cold metal zips, physical restrictions and with (praise be!) clean sheets was GLORIOUS.

Christmas with The Family (bit like the mafia, only with more cake. I imagine) was great fun, but a bit exhausting. With assorted children, pets and partners even sitting around watching a bit of telly can be a bit stressful. And I was in exile at a kind neighbours house while they were on holiday to make room for everyone (sleeping bag number the one). It was great though, as we hardly ever all get together anymore. My sister's partner joined us this year and found it a bit weird I think. We're not nutters, but I suppose we have our quirks.

I got some great presents though. A really nice scarf from M+D, plus an assorted selection of books, CDs and DVDs I’m really looking forwarding to getting through. There is something really satisfying about a pile of unread books by the bed.

Then was back in London for one night only to go out with a bunch of mates in central London, before stumbling home to pack. Got up the next day and in a haze of confusion and hung-overness (cava, bitter, beer and wine mmmmm tasty) chugged off to France for NYE with friends. I'm semi-amazed that all ten of us managed to get our shit together in three cars from different points in London and make it to Dover on time (rough-but-fun ferry crossing).

Spent four hilarity-filled days in a beautiful, slightly delapidated three storey house in the old town of Boulogne sur Mer. It was freezing, so we had to use alcohol to keep warm. Or something. Anyway, we saw in the French New Year and then the UK one an hour later with much merriment, dancing, party-poppering and singing (Auld Lang Syne in French? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?). One of us had a camcorder. Oh Dear God.

No one mention the BatMonkeys in the cellar.

Now back to stinking work and January blues. Damn. Although in a freak outburst of general start-of-the-year optimism I had a quick sort out of my room yesterday. I moved some posters and shit around. I might vaguely paint it at some point. It's not like that would require a great deal of paint, and I could do it in a day.

2005 has been an odd year. I've had some real high's and done some amazing things - which I'm not going to tediously list here. But I've also had a few really naff bits, and seriously peeved off a few people I love, which is not good. I think after a bit of break I'm quite geared up for the next 12 months, and on the whole I'm a bloody lucky bloke. But life is never really perfect, I suppose. A few members of the family have a few problems hitting them quite hard at the moment, and I think work is gonna be a bit stress for a while. Hey ho. Let's get it on, shall we?! It's never straightforward, so lets make sure some of the detours are fun.

To mark the fact that this is a time for new beginnings and life is a journey (CLUNK! Insert cheesy metaphor of your choice here!), here is a picture of my nephew 'driving' the parked car up to his grandparents gaff for crimble:



Aww. Innit kyoooot. I promise some pictures from the Lomo - including hopefully Christmas and France - will be up as soon as I get them developed, even if they are just black rectangles.

Hell's teeth, man!