Sunday, March 25, 2007

"Somebody rang me and said they had two-thirds of a pineapple..."

M'flatmate has cruelly abandoned me to take part in his brother getting hitched in Australia. Tsk. Clearly I've now got far too much time on my hands, as I've found myself doing all sorts of unusual bits and bobs around the flat, such as....

...BAKING!!

And yes, before anyone says anything, those of you with higher screen resolutions may well point out that these fairy cakes are a touch more golden brown than they should be, ie burnt. However. These were a birthday present for Ruth and the whole point of the devilish little treats is the two generous spoonfuls tipped over each cake after they've been baked. Moworaaghaa. See thewonderful receipe for green fairy cakes by Dan Lepard. His own website is found here.

I saved a couple for after the party, and it may have been them, but something Donna said to me at that point made absolute and perfect sense:

"I find every good photo of me has been taken by someone I fancy."

There is a reason why there is no photo on this blog, you know; it's because there are no good photos of Boz. I can only go so far in blaming this on other people, alas, but how true is this!? I am hunting down down attractive folks with a good zoom lens as we speak.

Talking of food, and ignoring the fact that this blog is rapidly descending into a very limited media review, while m'flatmate is away I'm obviously cooking for one. Bar the odd night out with mates or indulging in a take away (steak and kidney pie with chips being the current choice du jour. I will go to the gym. Soon. I will...), it's just me on my tod. Cooking for one is an odd thing, and I'm trying hard not to waste any food but with minimal success so far.

Which reminds me of this article on this very subject in The Times last week, Don't let good food go to waste. It has an arrray of good tips to avoid being criminally wasteful when shopping, planning and eating. All of whichj I have thus far failed to adhere to.

Bumtits.

But this piece also has an amazing, bolted-on, column by Marguerite Patten, who sounds just a little bit fabulous. Marguerite was a government food advisor during the war, and afterwards became a tv cook. She is severe in her admonishment of those who let good food be dipatched to the bin, and her article has some genius one-liners:

"I've never known anybody who doesn't like fishcakes."

"Of course, my generation learnt to cook. Younger generations haven't, so when faced with leftover meat, instead of saying, by Jove, that would make lovely rissoles or meatballs, they just despair."

And, the killer quote:

"Somebody rang me and said they had two-thirds of a pineapple..."


Hell's teeth, man. I am hereby raising my standards and making the effort to reinstate the words 'By Jove' into my daily vocabulary. Read the full thrusting, bristling call to arms here. Put that in your wok and fry it, Ainsley!

(In case you're wondering, Ms Patten (OBE, thank you very much), suggests slicing the leftover pineapple, shoving it under a hot grill on foil, covering with brown sugar and ground ginger until the sugar bubbles.)

Also, purely on the basis of this little piece of slightly cynical marketing fluff, I have decided that in the film version of The Further Adventures, Boz shall be played by the magnificent Emily Blunt. Get to 3 minutes and 25 seconds. Fabulous.

We ARE going to need a slightly imaginative scriptwriter though. Certainly one more creative than I. Paging Michel Gondry, Paging Michel Gondry...

10 comments:

Doris said...

It may come as no surprise that I own Margurite Patten's cookbook. She doesn't use absinthe in any of her recipes though.

james henry said...

Emily B is a an amusing ginger, with lots of eyeliner? I am sold.

Boz said...

Doris - it wouldn't suprise me if she included jolly little hints about running up curtains from leftover napkins though. She seems like that kind of resourceful woman. Possibly with easy access to cooking sherry.

JH - But would she mind playing a 'man', hmmm?? I haven't used so much eyeliner since those difficult teenage years, so there may not be much call for that. Her people are faxing my people... I'm texting as we speak...

james henry said...

Ooh, did you shoplift yours from Boots too?

Great days.

Boz said...

No - I attended a youth project. They bought it for us! And nail varnish. AND tea. Halcyon times...

Ahem.

Hedgie said...

very artistic absinthe fairy cakes.

*applause!*

Annie said...

Is that asparagus on the cakes? How posh.

Boz said...

Nah, Angelica.

Although really it was all just a vehicle for the absinth poured on after baking.

Tim Footman said...

I suspect Ms Blunt has nicer funbags than you.

Boz said...

Tim, I suspect popular opinion may well be on your side on this one.