Thursday, June 28, 2007

French letters*

Hot. Damn.

The Times** had a feature this week misleading entitled 'The Greatest Letters of All Time'.

Hmmm. Bit dubious so far;*** the one from Oscar Wilde essentially boils down to 'thanks for the presensent. Ta v much. Say hi to hubby.' Not even very lyrically, elegantly nor wittily. Maybe he was having a bad day.

ANYWAY. The one that really caught my attention was from dear ol' Napoleon Bonaparte. I can't find it on their webiste (the fools!), but I copy it below. It's written to Joséphine after what must have been the mother of all rows during preparations for their marriage:

"So you thought that I did not love you for yourself! For what, then? Oh Madame, did you really think this? Could such an unworthy feeling have been conceived by such a pure spirit? I am still astonished at it, but less however than at the feeling which on my awakening brings me back to your feet, without resentment and without willpower. It is certainly impossible to be weaker or futher abased. What then is your strange power, incomparable Josephine? One of your thoughts poisons my life, tears my soul apart... but a stronger feeling, a less sensitive mood, takes hold of me, draws me back and rules me again as if I were guilty. I truly feel that if we quarrel I should close my heart.. And you mio dolce amor - Have you spared me even two thoughts?!!! I kiss you three times, once on your heart, once on your lips and once on your eyes."

PHWOAR! Just a little bit dead sexy!! Even if, like me, Bonaparte ggets a bit happy with the exclamation marks. But honestly:

"I kiss you three times, once on your heart, once on your lips and once on your eyes."

Cor blimey, we say. Shame about the divorce really.

I don't get nearly enough mail like this. I mean if they started this sort of stuff in my mobile phone bill I might pay the thing a damn sight quicker.

Pashing on!


* Fnar fnar fnar...
** We do sometimes do centre-right news media here on Further Adventures. Get us.
** I'm really into semi-colons at the moment. Bear with me.

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