We are experiencing invasion. No, not the Nicole Kidman SLASH Daniel Craig remake*. A rather more genteel attack:
They are trying to get into the flat to hibernate. I find them everywhere and in the most unusual places. They are harmless enough - they're ladybirds, for crying out loud. But about an hour ago I looked up and jumped** when I saw six*** crawling across my bedroom window, inside and out.
I have a moral dilemma - I keep gently chucking them out of the window so they fly off, then feeling terribly guilty for about five minutes after, picturing them freezing slowly as winter approaches. It's unintentional murder. It's Ladyslaughter.
And there was one I didn't hold properly and now it's just sitting on the window ledge not moving. GUILT GUILT TREMBLING HEART GUILT.
I wouldn't go as far as to say I am a full-on Buddhist, but I am very Fotherington-Thomas and I do not like hurting or inflicting pain on other living things, big or small.****
Help. what do I do!? Do I let them in? Do I set up a little Ladybird Resting Home for them to rest in over winter? Are there instructions on t'internets for such a thing?? Did Blue Peter tell me how to do this when I was young and I have just totally forgotten??
In the meantime I am procuring emergency provisions and battening down all hatches. Roger. Wilco. Bunker Base Commander One receiving. Over and out (KSSHHH-typenoise).
* Oh dear.
** But not as much when staying at my parents recently and SHE-LOB wandered out from under my arm while I was blearily getting dressed one morning. 100% dignity failure combined with pathetic yelping puppy noise. And I fell over backwards in my haste to get away. The shame. Honestly, I let bees and wasps crawl over me, no worries. Spider? Wig out like Defcon One.
**** Even Daily Mail readers.