Saturday, May 12, 2007

The Assistant (spoilers ahead)

Have you been watching this year's UK version of The Apprentice? Well you probably should, because it's brilliant. Largely because several of the contestants are borderline nut jobs; particularly my absolute favourite, the magnificent Katie.

SHE'S BONKERS! DON'T LOOK INTO HER EYES! DON'T LOOK INTO HER EYES!!

She is completely formidable and utterly hilarious. She is one of the few candidates to actually have her shit together, and has intelligence and wit in bucketloads. She stands for no sillyness, and is hilariously scathing about some of her fellow contestants. She is part army intelligence office, part businesswoman, part horsey lady and quite a lot of fearsomeness. I'm not really sure why she's doing this, but every week she comes out with some classic lines.

As ever, TV Guru Nancy Banks-Smith has it sussed.

The highlight so far has been Katie's merciless take-down of Adam - a man whose only personality trait appears to be being Northern. Oh and he likes cars. Adam has spent quite a lot of time in the boardroom in recent weeks, and wormed his way out of a firing last week but co-revealing the relationship Katie was having with fellow contestant Paul - an ex-Army walking lisp, bless him.

This was something viewers knew nothing about (well, me anyway) and I nearly bit the corner off a Habitat cushion in excitement. Which is funny as Shabbers appear to be sponsoring the contestans plush Notting Hill residence this year. I keep expecting to see a couple wandering around in the background asking if the rattan coffee table comes in any other colours.

Paul was fired (largely because he tried to sell rancid and cheap English cheese to the French) and Katie flushed red before going supernova and vowing revenge on Adam's hapless soul:
Katie: "I would like to be the person that secures Adam's exit and his route back to the north and his northern chums where, I do feel, he rather belongs."

Bizarrely, when the mud was flying, it turned out Adam was a wine drinker:
Katie: "If we're going to go personal, let's crack on, but I strongly advise you not to take me down the personal route. When your best friends are Mr Pinot and Mr Grigio, you want to watch it."

So that was the end of poor Ads. He was simply no match for the mighty mad Katie, who has GOT to be in the final three. Still, at least he's not bitter, hey? Oh.

Can't wait for next week. Katie to win!! Go Lady! Not least because even Sralan seems rather disconcerted by Katie.

We're mooting for further BBC 3 spin-off shows, beyond the post-sacking interview. Maybe a Big Brother style show with 24-hour footage entirely from within the contestants house. But better would be starring vehicles for the show's true stars:Managing with Margaret and Nick Negotiates. Brilliant.


Flathunting in progress! More to report later on, hopefully.

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Strange sightings in Clapham: Ooo-er.


Oh Matron.

The mind boggles. I'm so easily amused. Seen while shopping here.

Sunday, May 06, 2007

That's not how you sell a book.

This, dear readers, is how you sell a book.

Too bloody right.

Sorry - I have a bit of hardback on for independent booksellers at the moment. Specifically this one and also this one - which is fighting a disatrous rent increase that would herald another boring chain store of some description which would make Boz generically SAD.

...and we're back in the room.

Yes. I know. Bad Boz. I went away, but now I'm back back BACK.

Apologies for the lack of anything intersting up here - what's new, I hear you cry! Truth is there's just been a bit too much happening lately, and I can't see the wood for the carparks. Several looming deadlines at have combined with one of my LEAST favourite activities EVER; am currently mired in the misery of flathunting as our lovely landlord (he really is lovely*) is selling the flat.

I hate flathunting. I hate it. Ever since Uni when i was woken up by a phone call to say the house we were moving into had fallen through - in the case of the ceiling almost literally - I have this nerve-quaking fear of being homeless. Which is ridiculous - I have plenty of mates who would offer Boz a sofa and a bottle of wine at a moments notice. I suppose I'm just a bit obsessive about having somewhere to lay my hat. Or Hennes flat cap.

AM I WITTERING??

Too much coffee this morning, Vicar.

AND we had to put up with a typical estate agent penis** from hateful Foxtons coming round*** and telling us how much our rented flat was allegedly worth. I nearly cried. I will never ever ever be able to afford a place of my own. Ever.

ANYWAY. The point is I have had little time to do anything other than check in to some of my favourite blogs and drop the odd pithy, pointless, smug and badly spelt comments. In doing so, I notice I've been tagged by the delightful Cheeser. Fun ahoy. Hold on to your hairnets, and here we go.****

THE (current) TOP TEN FILMS OF THE BLOGGER BOZ (that's me)

Orphée - because it's French and fantastical and lyrical and wonderful.

Clue - because at heart I'm a bit daft and Madeline Kahn is much missed.

X Men 2 - because with the bangs and the noises and the shiny spesh effects and the flying and the mutations as social metaphors and the shinyness and the wheeee.

Oldboy - because it's beautiful. Violent, but beautiful.

The Royal Tenenbaums - because Wes Anderson is a bit of genius.

Orlando - because... I just do. It's what markleting executives call 'quirky'. Me and Virginia Woolf just think it's interesting, and not necessarily very serious.

Out of Sight - because I think it's quite sexy, and again not too serious.

The 39 Steps (The Hitchcock version) - because it's thrilling! And men were gentlemen who fried fish while still wearing their mac and smoking... we shall not see these days again.

Brief Encounter - because the very small can be the very huge. I need to get over this 40's thing though, don't I?

2001: A Space Odyssey - because it reminds me of my family. By association. Not because they are a bunch of chimps. At all.

And the Boz Bonus Film: Blow Up - because it's GroovyCool and far out man!

So there you then. That's my in DVD case. The truth is I can't possibly get it down to ten - but that should give you a flavour of the flickering behind my eyes.

DVD Commentary track onwards!



* Right up until the moment he doesn't give our deposit back.
** I am old and cranky enough now to admit to certain prejudices. Estate agents are one of them. I am continually delighted by letting agents though, who are almost universally lovely. And anyway - I am not alone in my vitriol.
*** I remembered just in time to pull down the two 'torsos of the week' from Heat magazine off the kitchen pinboard. Aha.
**** Again with the coffee.