Friday, October 26, 2007


Most people are on their second drink at this point, hmmm...

RIGHT. Mystery Movie Quote of the evening:

"Uh, is there a little girl's room in the hall?"
"Oui oui, Madame." [points]
"No, I just have to powder my nose."

Answers on a comment please...

Nil points in reality, but squillions in feeling

Aw shucks!

My site was nominated for Best Blog About Stuff!

What's a blogger to say!? Thanks LaLa! I'm welling up slightly...

Saturday, October 20, 2007

Things wot of Saturday daytime stuff

Farrrr too much wine, beer and spirits* last night - topped off with a baked potato to take the edge off the hangover - have meant I have not done very much today. In a blind panic I went shopping in Clapham.

The Grauniad has gone a 'things to make and do' on our asses. First it was stickers. Posters. Now models!

Amazing. It can only be a matter of time before thirteen year olds high on Sunny D** are swapping G2 sections in the playground. I'll give you my Guardian Society section for your film and music supplement...

AMAZING! I have a week off. I shall mostly be playing the new Zelda game on my DS. Wheee!

HASN'T GEOFFREY TWO GROWWWWN??? I've come up short in the old TLC department of late. Hence...

I might try and get a new plant for the flat on my week off too. No doubt I'll be blogging about inane and pointless stuff too WHICH WILL BE FUN WON"T IT.

Currently I am typing this post listening to dance remixes of james Bond theme tunes. This is what the world has come to.***

THAT IS ALL. Am off to the pub soon.


**UPDATE. Blogger was evil and lost the pictures that went with this post,. Making it surreal but unintresting. They should be back now (hand: model's own).**

* WhhhhOOOooooo!
** I am so five minutes ago.
*** Makes me feel sad for the rest.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Monday, October 15, 2007



The outer shield has been compromised. Automatic lock-down and quarentine procedure ten.

"They're... they're... THEY'RE COMING!"

Saturday, October 13, 2007

Bet the orginal lyric wasn't "though they tell me she's a witch"

Songs like this just don't really get made anymore, do they?

Under Attack

We are experiencing invasion. No, not the Nicole Kidman SLASH Daniel Craig remake*. A rather more genteel attack:


They are trying to get into the flat to hibernate. I find them everywhere and in the most unusual places. They are harmless enough - they're ladybirds, for crying out loud. But about an hour ago I looked up and jumped** when I saw six*** crawling across my bedroom window, inside and out.

I have a moral dilemma - I keep gently chucking them out of the window so they fly off, then feeling terribly guilty for about five minutes after, picturing them freezing slowly as winter approaches. It's unintentional murder. It's Ladyslaughter.

And there was one I didn't hold properly and now it's just sitting on the window ledge not moving. GUILT GUILT TREMBLING HEART GUILT.

I wouldn't go as far as to say I am a full-on Buddhist, but I am very Fotherington-Thomas and I do not like hurting or inflicting pain on other living things, big or small.****

Help. what do I do!? Do I let them in? Do I set up a little Ladybird Resting Home for them to rest in over winter? Are there instructions on t'internets for such a thing?? Did Blue Peter tell me how to do this when I was young and I have just totally forgotten??

In the meantime I am procuring emergency provisions and battening down all hatches. Roger. Wilco. Bunker Base Commander One receiving. Over and out (KSSHHH-typenoise).

* Oh dear.

** But not as much when staying at my parents recently and SHE-LOB wandered out from under my arm while I was blearily getting dressed one morning. 100% dignity failure combined with pathetic yelping puppy noise. And I fell over backwards in my haste to get away. The shame. Honestly, I let bees and wasps crawl over me, no worries. Spider? Wig out like Defcon One.

*** Six!

**** Even Daily Mail readers.

It's 360° appraisal time! WHOOOO!!

Constructive feedback forms are sprinkled across the office. A quiet mood of introspection falls. Boz idly hears the following interchange...

Colleague Three: "If you had to give me three constructive pieces of criticism what would they be?"

Colleague Four: "What?"

Colleague Three: "If you had to pick out three negative things to say about me at work – what would they be?"

Colleague Four: "I.. I don’t have anything negative to say about you."

Colleague Three: "But if you had to."

Colleague Four: "Can’t think of anything."

Colleague Three: "Nothing?!"

Colleague Four: "Nothing."

Colleague Three: "Nothing at all?"

Colleague Four: "No, nothing."

Colleague Three: "Oh come on, we’ve worked together for six years there must be something. The way I manage upwards, my communication technique, giving praise..."

Colleague Four: "Erm... I honestly can’t... really..."

Colleague Three: "Oh come on!! The hounds of hell are at the door, Lucifer has risen, humanity's salvation depends on your thought-provoking feedback to Hell's HR team, only moments before the wave of boiling lava and torment washes over the world and casts us into an eternal oblivion of pain and performance management..."

Colleague Four: "I really hate the way you curl the loops of your letter Ys around."

Colleague Three: "Fuck off, Julia."

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Quote of the day

Colleague One: "This music is so bad. It's so dreary."

Colleague Two: "Yeah. It's like the piped-in stuff I was forced to listen to all day when I worked at Tie Rack."

Colleague One: "Tie Rack. That sounds like a middle-eastern dictatorship. Tyraq."

Colleague Two, placing a hand on Colleague One's arm: "Oh the stories I could tell you of when the staff from McDonald's overthrew our overlords for us... "

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Very much here and with a tan (oooooo)

HELLO! He bellows, in the manner of a long-lost intrepid aunty. It's been a while, hasn't it?

But I am here and I am alive. I've just come back from a week of utter bliss; beach, bed and sea-bound fun. It was wonderful. I love a bit of adventurous traveling, but I do also love a bit of slobbing out by the beach. Amazing.

And well-timed too - work was getting mighty stressful. Still a relaxing break is nice. There was only one moment today when I looked across the office and considered feeding my own hair into the shredder. HEY HO.

To kick things off, here's a beatiful short film I saw on Channel 4's four minute wonder thing several years ago. It stuck and I've only just thought to look the thing up on You Tube.

Hurrah! Enjoy. It's ace.

The first time I looked I had real trouble finding it, eventaully tracking down the creator to some production company with a flash but unfriendly website. It seems to have gained a bit of popularity since then.

Such a wonderful mix of anime and 50s children's bookm illustrations. Sort of Lucienne Day meeting Tim Burton over a pre-dinner cocktail. And ooooo look I've just found this one from ages ago Aardman. Go on, see if you can name the plays as they come. I can only do most of the really obvious ones.

Worried today by the news that Keira Knightly is playing Georgiana Duchess of Devonshire in a film version of her life. Keira's alright n'all, but the character in question is one of my cultural and social heroes. And therefore NOT TO BE MESSED WITH. Find out how utterly mad as fish she and the rest of the Bon Ton were by reading this jolly good book. Insane levels of gambling. Not a patch on Tessa Jowell.

And YAY! Charlie Brooker is back for another glorious rommp of series of Screenwipe. Brilliant. I can't work out if I fancy him or his brain or both. Disturbing. So while you deliberate in mild horror, here's a good bit from a previous series: The 10 Biggest Cocks in Advertising.

Talking of telly about telly (pause, breath, comprehension), I'm still really enjoying Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip. Sexy telly people making sexy telly YEAHHHH!!! Someone should do a British version. Behind the scenes of say, This Morning... except it would just be a bunch of people standing outside on fag breaks probably.

No. It's never gonna happen.

FINALLY. Spotted this on the Grauniad website today:

Aw bless....