Wednesday, June 11, 2008

"Every box must be thought outside of, and every ceiling pushed through."

So it's the almost traditional pre-Apprentice final post.

This year my money is on Claire ("Clurr") just because they've had to work very hard in the edit and scripting to make it look as if Surallun doesn't like her.

He really likes her.

And while we're on Big Al, is it me, or is he looking really unwell in this series? Although as I've said before, Margaret Moutnford is looking more and more fabulous (and gets the quote of the series: "I don't think Edinburgh is what it was." Okay you had to be there, but trust me it was a cutting, witty and devastating put-down.).

Godsdammit it is still the reigning monarch of UK reality TV though, and I shall be settling in with my flatmate tonight to find out which finalist gets the job (three cheers to Anna Pickard and her tireless coverage of the series*).

SO THEN. The finalists. Here is my yearly run-down:

LEE: I quite like Lee. In that, apart from lying on his CV in a really stupid way that some researcher was bound to fish out and hold until he got as far as he was going, he seems alright. He has usually been quite supportive of his team mates (an incident with Lady Ribenaberet aside), and been much more gung-ho about the whole thing than most people. Having said this I would not like to be confined with him in any kind of small space for any longer than, ooo, let's say 90 seconds. He's quite loud. And energetic. And he looks like he'd accidentally break your leg and not realise.

CLAIRE: (Or, as already mentioned, "Clurr"). Claire has to win. She has to. Because she is young, she is up for a challenge and, against all the odds, appears to be quite competent. She has a no-nonsense approach and while probably 'a bit loud' she has not majorly cheesed off Surallan. Genetics aside, she is probably most likely to actually be his granddaughter. She also scored points for getting the hots for one of the interviewers. Most like a rotweiller. In a nice way. May lose out as is paired with Lee for the final, and only one 'team' can win.

HELENE: Mildy tough background. Northern. Nice, sort of. Been a bit bitchy. Never going to win.

ALEX: I have a special type of indescribable loathing for Alex. Stop whining about you age, stop dropping others in it at every available opportunity and stop scowling like a lost sixth-former. Is bizarrely popular with women. has obscenely purple lips (who said I wasn't going to get personal; about people who have elected to make themselves fools on telly? Hmm?) and is most likely to end up out of this as a Burtons model. he is a sneaky weasel. If he wins - I will not watch next year in protest. Maybe.

This year has also thrown up some amazing runners-up: I will never forget Lucinda Ledgerwood (rumoured to really b called Cindy Burger), Sophocles (don;t wave your religious and cultural upbringing around if you know naff-all about it) and Raph. Raeph. Rayph? How did he spell his name...?

My only fly in the ointment is I've just discovered that I am Helene. This is not good. (Note to self: must buy alice band and neck scarf).

So. In summary. Go Claire!

* Okay apart from that one where they moved it to a Tuesday because of the footie, but we can;t hold it against the girl.


Hedgie said...

I'm going to miss it due to a foolish diary malfunction!

Tend to agree with your take. I like Claire v. much, followed by Lee. It really would be too awful if the other two won, can't stand either of them.

Annie said...

Surallan loves Claire. But Claire loves Surrallan's evil henchman. (it was funny when she said 'I should have leaned across the table and kissed the face off him', or words to that effect. I wish she had.)

It'll all end in tears.

Boz said...


She woz robbed!! Although I don't begrudge Lee his win either. Now, will that interviewer hold good on her word and give Claire a job...?

Old Cheeser said...

Well done Lee. I know he was a birrova lad but there's something actually rather sweet and endearing about him. He has a lovely smile and he's somewhat shaggable too.

Boz said...

I was with you right up until the penultimate word there, Cheeser...