Typically, the office heating has decided to splutter its last and shuffle off its gas-powered coil.
It's really cold in the office. Really cold. It's actually quite difficult to type.*
We have contacted the landlord and the official line has come back on the situation:
LANDLORD: "The thermostat must not be working."
WORK: "Yes. We were wondering about that."
LANDLORD: "It must be a ghost."
I'm not entirely happy with this explanation, as it seems to come from the fact they don't understand the heating system, rather than any kind of spiritual belief or evidence of traumatic past event.**
We have tried to remain stoic, but questions have already been asked about 'being allowed to go home because we're so cold'. The answer appears to be that this only occurs at school. Dammit. I had one of those childhoods*** where I was made to go to school in blizzards anyway (Paging Lucy Mangan, Paging Lucy Mangan). Days when there only about thirty people in the entire school were fun. Sort of a Blitz spirit but with Bunsen Burners.
Ohhh, the things you can do with a Bunsen Burner... Turn it on. Turn it off. Change the flame colour. Hours of fun.
I'm starting to wonder if boiling the kettle might help heat the room, if not very efficiently. I'm beginning to miss the faint warmth CRT monitors used to give off...
UPDATE: We have a more expert opinion in; the nice engineer man says we have a low water pressure problem. Essentially when the water pressure gets too low the heating system gets a bit depressed and gives up. As we speak, one of my colleagues is being instructed in the Dark Arts of reinvigorating it. The mind boggles - a stern pep talk? A playful prod of its valves? Some soft words of encouragement? Bleeding the radiators until a quick jet of dirty water gushes out...?
This ties in well with my recent showering experiences at home; it's great, so long as most of South London has already buggered off to work.
UPDATE AGAIN: The heating is fixed! And I have just typed out the the phrase 'deeper penetration into key global accounts' in a client document and giggled to myself.
YES, STILL HERE: We can't work out how to turn it down.. it's getting quite hot..
* Although not check Facebook.
** The Incident With The Laminator and The Great Headed Paper Shortage of 2007 notwithstanding. I mean, no one actually died..
*** Concentrate, here comes the middle-classness.