Friday, June 27, 2008

"Come the fuck in or fuck the fuck off."

Non-breaking news alert: how on earth did this fantastic news manage to slip under my radar, out of the asylum and into the wilds of the world?

I reeeeeeally hope the film version doesn;t lose some of the minor characters from the TV series. Or maybe they'll include the third party camp! The last episode with the opposition was utterly brilliant. The scene when they are running around trying to find a TV is hilarious.

Or Robyn Murdoch saying she had never been in a girls toilet before.

Or Ben Swain's nervous twitch.

Genius! Some timely repeats of The Thick of It on BBC4 please.

UPDATE: Also Mars could become the biggest asparagus farm in the universe. Amazing... happy weekending everyone...

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Feet, feet everywhere...

This intriguing story prompts a million questions and a wild flight of fancy with possible stories.

Although ultimately it is probably not a happy one. Still, I suppose until the real reason is uncovered, then that's up to the writer, right?

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Things to make and do on a sunny afternoon

Step one. Find old plastic soup container.

Carve whole in bottom, avoiding cutting off fingers.

Steal stones from other plant pots (shhhh).

Fill with com-pom-post.

Remove Natasha Bedingfield from the radio.

Find the thingummies you bought a while back.

Plant 'em. Water 'em.

Wait for magic to happen.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

And not a single mash-up, either

I have been memed by Oli! I'm terrible excited. I work so much better to a brief and it is nice to have some blog love. Plus I have two really big (honest) posts coming up, so it's nice to have something a bit less daunting to work on on this vaguely sunny morning.

The task is thus:

"List seven songs you are into right now. No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they’re not any good, but they must be songs you’re really enjoying now, shaping your spring. Post these instructions in your blog along with your seven songs."*

RIGHT! (scuttles off to examine his iPod) HERE WE GO.

Queens of the Stone Age - The Lost Art of Keeping a Secret
I bumbled across this on the internet, and it sounded pretty cool so... okay. I give up. I hereby confess I downloaded this from iTunes because I heard it on Doctor Who Confidential, okay? I may lose all cool but dammit it's catchy. With some crunchy geee-tar riffs and nifty lyrics. Aww-right.

The Ting Tings - That's Not My Name
Because it's a brilliant piece of rocky punk-pop and insanely catchy. And because I cannot stop listening to it until I work out what the bloke is singing over the last two verses. I MUST KNOW. I have a bit of a 'thing' about lyrics. Can't remember the names of some of my good friends, their recent social history or any useful information like where I left my passport, but can recite all the lyrics to Birdhouse In Your Soul and Supercalifragilisticexpealliocious (yes even the bit when she says it backwards because she cheats and merely reverses the order of syllables and changes 'Super' to 'Rupes'. I know these things.).

Planet Perfecto featuring Grace - Not Over Yet
This is probably thekind of thing that is featured a lot on adverts for triple-disc 90s dance anthhologies you can't buy in the shops.
Don't care. Am waving my hands in the air, alas sans glow sticks. Wicked to do the washing up to, I have found. How my life has changed in my late twenties.

Vitamin String Quartet - Mister Brightside
In fact, actually, and how, almost anything by this excellent covers outfit. I just really dig string versions of pop chooons (blame that bit in Batman Returns where Bruce Wayne and Selina Kyle get down to an orchestra's take on MC Hammer. Wicked!). See also their versions of Smells Like Teen Spirit, Crazy in Love, Cool (Gwen Stefani) and LSF. Top drawer!

Nancy SInatra and Lee Hazlewood - Summer Wine.
Because it's pure sex! And summery! First put on a compilation tape made by bezzy mate Donna many moons ago, it's still a top player, and I've just downloaded for my iPod so am bopping along to it a LOT. S'a bit dirty. Hur hur hur. Plus strawberries, cherries and an angel's kiss in spring should BE an actual drink.

Cut Copy - Feel The Love
I have only just got my grubby mitts on this album, so I have not given all the tracks a good listen - but this lovely opener is a bit Bent-ish and very catchy. Could well be The Sound Of The Summer, if kept away from Radio 1. We likey.

Simian Mobile Disco - Sleep Deprivation
I hope I never tire of this song. It's definitely a 'get up and dance like a loon' number. In my head I have directed a fabulous video to this, with people in 17th century flamboyant costume doing breakdancing in a ballroom. Yes - Sophie Muller's career is quite safe. Anyway. I highly recommend this for getting up and jumping about.

And gosh I'm all done.

See this is interesting, because I look at that list and I would not say it is indicative of my (hopefully) broad church** of musical taste. But rocking out to them I am (Yoda??).

So! On to the joyful task of tagging other people. Well, it's quite difficult to find any of you buggers who haven't already done this. But I'm setting the task for:

Annie (even though she has just done a meme about five)
Julaberry (even though I think she has done it before)
La Bête
Geoff (because it'll be really interesting)
AceDiscoVery (because music is important there)
Cheeser (even though he's just done one about albums)

Go to it, kids.

* Observant bloggers will notice I have altered the final sentence; changing '7' to 'seven'. This is because I am an anal twit, and it has been drummed into me by several CEOs that any number under 11 gets spelled out in full.
** Even Charlotte if I'm in the right frame of mind.***
*** Frame Of Mind is not a gay club. It probably should be though.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

"Every box must be thought outside of, and every ceiling pushed through."

So it's the almost traditional pre-Apprentice final post.

This year my money is on Claire ("Clurr") just because they've had to work very hard in the edit and scripting to make it look as if Surallun doesn't like her.

He really likes her.

And while we're on Big Al, is it me, or is he looking really unwell in this series? Although as I've said before, Margaret Moutnford is looking more and more fabulous (and gets the quote of the series: "I don't think Edinburgh is what it was." Okay you had to be there, but trust me it was a cutting, witty and devastating put-down.).

Godsdammit it is still the reigning monarch of UK reality TV though, and I shall be settling in with my flatmate tonight to find out which finalist gets the job (three cheers to Anna Pickard and her tireless coverage of the series*).

SO THEN. The finalists. Here is my yearly run-down:

LEE: I quite like Lee. In that, apart from lying on his CV in a really stupid way that some researcher was bound to fish out and hold until he got as far as he was going, he seems alright. He has usually been quite supportive of his team mates (an incident with Lady Ribenaberet aside), and been much more gung-ho about the whole thing than most people. Having said this I would not like to be confined with him in any kind of small space for any longer than, ooo, let's say 90 seconds. He's quite loud. And energetic. And he looks like he'd accidentally break your leg and not realise.

CLAIRE: (Or, as already mentioned, "Clurr"). Claire has to win. She has to. Because she is young, she is up for a challenge and, against all the odds, appears to be quite competent. She has a no-nonsense approach and while probably 'a bit loud' she has not majorly cheesed off Surallan. Genetics aside, she is probably most likely to actually be his granddaughter. She also scored points for getting the hots for one of the interviewers. Most like a rotweiller. In a nice way. May lose out as is paired with Lee for the final, and only one 'team' can win.

HELENE: Mildy tough background. Northern. Nice, sort of. Been a bit bitchy. Never going to win.

ALEX: I have a special type of indescribable loathing for Alex. Stop whining about you age, stop dropping others in it at every available opportunity and stop scowling like a lost sixth-former. Is bizarrely popular with women. has obscenely purple lips (who said I wasn't going to get personal; about people who have elected to make themselves fools on telly? Hmm?) and is most likely to end up out of this as a Burtons model. he is a sneaky weasel. If he wins - I will not watch next year in protest. Maybe.

This year has also thrown up some amazing runners-up: I will never forget Lucinda Ledgerwood (rumoured to really b called Cindy Burger), Sophocles (don;t wave your religious and cultural upbringing around if you know naff-all about it) and Raph. Raeph. Rayph? How did he spell his name...?

My only fly in the ointment is I've just discovered that I am Helene. This is not good. (Note to self: must buy alice band and neck scarf).

So. In summary. Go Claire!

* Okay apart from that one where they moved it to a Tuesday because of the footie, but we can;t hold it against the girl.

Friday, June 06, 2008


These job adverts are brilliant.

There are some proper gems, but I think my favourite is "the ideal candidate will understand that there's no such thing as leprechauns."

Happy Friday Peoples of the internetdom.

Hobjunt on!

Upon receiving an e-newsletter from Abercrombie & Fitch (see if you can spot the ethnic diversity kids!!)

"Yeah, but I bet he's rubbish at Mario Kart."

Stick it to the man, Boz.


Wednesday, June 04, 2008

With more than tears in their eyes (aka the Grace-less of Wrath*)

I know, I know. I'm so awful. Nothing for daaaaays, then I pick at the blog three times in mere hours.

Just popping back into the room (as if I'm ever out of the virtual room) to say that this piece about depression-era dance marathons that I found on this post at James 'The Mighty' Moran's blog** is possible the most interesting thing i have read in days.

Have a look. Honestly, it's quite the maddest thing you'll read this ten minutes.

* Ouch.
** Blogger's nickname author's own. I think.

Financial arrangements

Dearest God of All Finance.

Thank you for checking that I received my informative pension 'update' in the post. I must report that this helpful document scared me somewhat, as it contained a lot of words I didn’t fully understand. Words such as ‘savings’, ‘future’ and ‘retirement’. However it has made realise I may need more than three shillings and sixpence each month to survive on when I have become too withered to be of use in the workplace. I am currently addressing this shortfall by rolling out my celebrated ‘World Domination Project’ (codename: sunshine).

I note our pension advisor has been invited into the office. Before his arrival, can you please confirm he has the correct documentation to support my initiative. I have forwarded you a list but I am particularly interested in advice around the correct amount with which to bribe corrupt South American politicians and generating fast funds for R&D of spacecraft technology.

As an aside, I am also taking this forward with HR representatives, to see if I can benefit from time out of the workplace for this skills-enriching project. I am positive the experiences and knowledge I will gain while on secondment obtaining nuclear devices and working face-to-face with both Middle Eastern dictators and western politicians will be useful to the business going forward.

Thank you also letting me know that we now have access to matched payroll giving. I will consider this. I would also be enormously grateful if you could clarify whether trying out homegrown bio-engineering projects on my own body will affect my gym membership.

I hope the bonsai growing continues well.

Kindest regards etc,


(Alternative reaction from co-worker: "Yey! Pension stuff!")

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

This here internet thing...

...really has the capacity to waste our time with the most delightful frivolity, no?

Check out Typeflash for some hours of utterly unproductive but delicious fun.

And also, from over at the designy-graphicy-arty home of We Made This you can find Fontstruct.

Which you will spend hours playing with and making your own fonts. Ho-yes. Because how could you not?

Do you begin to see why I have not blogged in a while??


I *promise* that European stuff is on its way and it'll be interesting. All I'm saying for now is; Segways.