Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Quite literally tens of people

It's amazing what odd things you blog about that attract people to TFAOB.

On reflection, perhaps this post was a bit of a traffic whore. People really do seem quite interested in finding out what Anna Wintour eats.

Here was me thinking it was all about the fashion she wears. Oh dear me no.

Fash-on.

Not Texas. Not Beyonce.

Throwing financial caution to the wind, we appear to have acquired an X Box 360, to compliment our Wii. And there's an unlikely sounding sentence.

I find myself wandering around Halo 3 levels sort of not knowing what's happening, sortofthing. I've never played a Halo game before and it's all a bit 'right, off we go then, get shooting'.

A friend said it was like GoldenEye*, but with a million buttons to learn. It is. Sort of, except because the aliens are all, well, aliens, I have no emotional involvement with them. I rarely get close enough to the buggers to see much of them. They are like dark shapes firing lots of space-age weaponry at me.

At the moment, my main tactic is running into rooms crowded with Bad Things and firing whatever weapon I happen to be holding wildly. So far it's working a treat, but I suspect I'll have to start adopting slightly more cunning stratagems soon. After a while, the sound of my team members shouting "Stop firing at ME" gets annoying.

The 'Theatre' mode is cool though. You can re-watch yourself playing the levels you have played, but pause it and move the camera around anywhere, bullet-time stylee. Cor.

Now all I have to do is stop singing Texas and Beyonce songs every time I do something well, because really it is starting to get in the way and detract from the 'edgy cool' of the games itself.

Grand Theft Auto IV is scarily amazing.

I am a bit glad we didn't have enough money for a PS3, as the graphics seem hyper-ultra-real and would give me concerning dreams.

Here endeth the games review. **

* The. Best. Video. Game. Evah. And the cause of many wasted hours at University.
** What do you meeeean it's sunny outside? So?!?

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Speak'n'Hell

My current concept of hell is being doomed for an eternity to walk through a series of rooms populated entirely by friends-of-friends, all of whose names you can't quite remember, and who you've had conversations with in the past that you've forgotten about..

What's yours?

We Could Pee Heroes

Right then. Here's me. I've been prodded, so to speak, by another blogger for not posting. Guilty as charged! Damn you, Twitter... but Blogging survived Facebook, so I'm confident that it'll survive Twitter. After all, Twitter can't get any bigger (noisier?), can it?

THING ONE: Office Move is now happening later in May. This is almost official. This is almost fact. I have urban joy!

THING TWO: It is finally Spring. I know. Fecking glorious!

THING THREE: **SPOILERS!** If you're bang up to the minute on telly's Heroes, and have managed to stay with it through the ups, downs and cross-dimensional 'with the what now?'s of the last series, this DigitalSpy interview with Bryan Fuller is really interesting. The way he talks about returning to the production and getting a grip back on costs, storylines and characters is dead interesting. He's very honest and not overly critical of what happened when he was not there. Which is nice.

THING FOUR: OH LOOK MY FRIEND HAS A NEW KITTEH!!


THING FIVE: ...Epic Dignity Fail.

THING SIX: I spent Easter at m'folks, with t'nephews. Youngest and smallest nephew managed to produce a pooh the size of a can of baked beans. Naturally I had to take a photo of this and show the whole family. I won't show it here. Obviously. However, this will be remembered when he is in his teens. Unfortunately, no doubt he will also remember it when is choosing which care home to put his doddery old uncle in. Oh... crap.

Okay so. Not the most amazing post ever, but do I get points for the kitten..? No...?

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

The Way We Work Now.

The hotly anticipated office move into town (where all the shexy people are, doing hip things and being all thrilling and exciting) looks to have hit some kind of hiatus.

The signs were all there - being scheduled to move in two weeks time, not knowing where we were moving too. That kind of thing.

I have decided I will throw recessionary job protectionism to the wind and mutiny until this is rectified.

I say mutiny, I mean massive sulk.

I say massive sulk, I really pointed indifference to all around me.

I suspect that many co-workers and colleagues will see no noticeable difference.

My hopes are far too high anyway. I've been reading too much of this and this. If I'm in a shiny office with fancy furniture and things, I can pretend I have an exciting, go-gettery job and such. I'll care what I wear to work, and be happier, and more fulfilled, and the downturn will end and all the plastic in the world will suddenly become highly biodegradable.

Or in Free Agents.

No?

File on.

Thursday, April 09, 2009

Food Things. Sort of thing.

Throwing hypocrisy to the wind*, and prompted by the revelation that Muller Vitality Pots are now in smaller pots but still the same price bringing on my Serious Injustice Fighter side**, I have decided to present my all time cheap tasty eats ideas.

BOZ TAKES ON THE RECESSION. GRR! Watch out Jamie Oliver. I'll have your apron by the strings faster than you can bosh up a plate of pasta.

Take one fillet of rainbow trout... Stand in oven tray for thirty minutes. Feel like an idiot and get no further through recipe. Get out of oven tray. Pop oven tray in the sink to wash (probably). Take some tin foil - resisting the urge to get overly creative and start wrapping up bits of kitchen to create expressionistic space-age effect. Wrap fillet in tin foil, with soy sauce, chopped spring onions, parsley and a bit o'grated ginger. Cook for 'an' amount of time. Let's pluck twenty minutes out of the cosmos, because that sounds nice, and I don't want to be held responsible for poisoning anyone. Serve. No, on a plate. Not like tennis. Eat. Nom nom nom.

Two soups! Anyone who cannot knock together at least one or two simple soups deserves no place in the world (ooo harsh). But seriously, home made leek and potato soup saw me through some dark times at university***. Take some things. Cook them together in a pan. With some stock. Add seasoning. 'Peasy.

Letil stewwwwwww. A fairly recent discovery chez Boz, but dead easy, tasty, filling and SuperHealthy. Go here. Brew up a batch on Sunday and you'll not go hungry before Thursday.****

OMLETTES. Because they go with salad, they go with.. other stuff too. Take an egg. Break it. Feel guilty. Ignore guilt as you beat egg with a tablespoon of water. Season, after you've phoned the supermarket to make sure the chickens had lots of field and corn and stuff to play with and didn't sort of mind, sortofthing, really, when their precious eggs were STOLEN from them by men in balaclavas. Heat some butter *****. Fry. VOILA! And you can add loads of things like mushrooms and cheese and all sorts. No All Sorts. Licorice and eggs not a happy combination, I fear.

Whisper it...cakes. Cakes! Fabulous wonderful cakes! I tried a sponge for the second time last week. I burnt it. But that doesn't matter! Because the ingredients are uber-cheap-tastic and you can just try again. A good cake will provide puddings and lovely fatty snacks for a week. Or two days, if you're living in our flat. If you are living in our flat, please can you leave because it's already quite small, and we keep running out of bog roll.

Risotto is your friend. Get to know her. She's a riot and has many different outfits. She likes a drink, say some wine, and is in no rush. Frozen peas. Mushrooms. Bacon (or fancier types of meat, if you're fancy. Like a fancy person.). Awooga!

ThE mySTERy ChaLLenGE!. Some of the best food discoveries are the ones when you get home from work, can't be arsed to go to the supermarket and have to 'make do' with whatever you've got in. MAKE DO?? It's FUN!! Chocolate and meat? veggies and chilli? Pitta bread and pasta sauce? OKAY THEN!

In all seriousness, I'm a fairly rubbish and panicky cook, but it bothers me that people can't cook stuff. Anyone can give anything a go. Cooking is not expensive.

Now. Where's my offer of a regular column in G2, hmm?


* By which I mean ignoring the quantities of food I have to throw away because it's gone off before I used it.
** LIke when they made Cadbury's Creme Eggs smaller. Bastards.
*** I spent three weeks living off £20 in Co-op customer reward vouchers. I ate a lot of beans. Like, a lot.
**** You may wish to stock up on toilet cleaning products, however. Words to the wise.
***** A 'knob'. Teehee!

Sunday, April 05, 2009

Thursday, April 02, 2009

Marital problems

No, not me. Obviously.

I am off to a friend's weeding this weekend (hurrahs!) but am having a bit of 'mare about what to wear.

Yes, this is very silly I know. The important thing is that I'm there for my mates, roight?

The problematicals are thus:

1. Wedding is in some kind of country house type thing. The wedding party is taking over the place, but I'm led to understand it's quite a relaxed affair and not ultra posh.
2. Groom and close male members of the family will be in suits. Okay..
3. Told jeans and smart shirt would be fine, but..
4. The only suits I have are a wee bit 'corporate' (I KNOW. THE IRONY.)
5. Only smart shirts I have don't go with suit bottoms..
6. Girl friends will inevitably be wearing some SIMPLE YET STUNNING number they have bought for the occasion, twinned with tasteful and classy accessories.
7. There is apparently only one iron in the entire place...
8. The ceremony is not a religious one, but a registry office type one. No God here. Does that mean I can wear turn-ups?

But my question is, what is and is not acceptable to wear to a modern wedding do? I can;t help thinking jeans are somehow an insult when worn in the same room as a wedding dress.

I'm sort of hoping that the fact that I'm getting my hair cut will make up for all this.